I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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