dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
