i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
