he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
