Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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