oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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