yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
