Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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