ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So vagazzling was a success
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
