Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
