Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the day after is always just damage control
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
