call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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