Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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