I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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