we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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