I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
