There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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