There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
