I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
