Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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