Got a toothbrush?
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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