He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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