My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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