She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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