Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.