he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosť, bitch!
She has the best kind of daddy issues