no, he came in my armpit
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.