Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.