you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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