Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
