youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
