I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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