with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize