So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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