Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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