Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Girls should come with a carfax report
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize