I heard we made out
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
