i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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