yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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