if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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