Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
