I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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