Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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