Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
