He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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