Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
