sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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