I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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