Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize