don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
