Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize