what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
