yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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