does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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