I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
