I just made out with a guy for $7.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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