I just made out with a guy for $7.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize