I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
