Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
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A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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