He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
