I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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