Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
40s are totally the cure
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
