I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
