Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
