somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You did what with his pubic hair?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
